i had a important appointment with the dvr today. in case you are not familiar with the dvr, it stands for division of vocational rehab and they cater to those with disabilities. they help with employment, job training, apptitude testing and a various amount of accomodations for those who need them.
i have a hearing loss. so the dvr assigned their only deaf caseworker to talk with me.
she was just wonderful! it was the first time i actually sat down with another deaf person and talked freely about hearing loss, having a hearing loss at work and communication.
i usually don't talk about being deaf/hoh with many people. i tend to shy away from the conversation. i also tend to accomodate people instead of letting them accomodate me. boy howdy, was i given a lecture on that!
most people who know me or most hearing people in general, think that because i may hear them behind me i don't necessarily know what they are saying. it can sound all jumbled up. and if you don't have a hearing loss you have no clue what i am talking about. but believe me, it can be frustrating! on the phone, in person...yikes! social situations are draining or just going out to dinner can be a mood buster.
when i was younger i was so always so proud of my life in the ballet...and with that where i went to school and who my inner circle of friends were in that ballet world.
when my dancing career ended i became proud of other things in my life.
i fought hard for my freedom, independance, choices in my career and as a single parent.
i came out...proud of being gay...i told anyone who would listen, never once fearing a backlash, or should i say, i didn't care what others thought. simply put...i was proud.
so why am i not proud that i have a hearing loss? why do i still hide behind my hearing aid? why do i not talk about it openly and just choose to bluff my way around it?
that was what i talked about today. who i am as a deaf woman. yes, deaf. my audiogram and my hearing loss prove that. the hearing i do have in my right ear is aided with a hearing aid and in time, that too may not even assist me well.
i need to be my own advocate when it comes to my deafness. i need to accomodate me. i need to stand up for myself and be heard. i need to state my concerns loudly and proudly just like all the other things i do in my life.
i need to not be afraid that this is just another part of me.
i need to be more honest with myself and the people around me, in regards to my hearing loss. i need to be okay with telling a cashier, waitress or bank teller that 'i did not hear/understand them, would they please repeat themselves?' that in a diner i need to sit in a booth away from the middle of the floor and all the commotion so i can hear my wife better in public because i have a hearing loss.
i am going to take back control of my deafness and have a more positive view of who i am in regards to it.
self disclosure can be empowering and uplifting, don't ya think?
the end.
16 comments:
You go girl! Don't hide it, there's nothing WRONG with you. It's a part of who you are and it's NOT a negative thing!
Yay! This is a great post! I should make my sister read this. She has hearing loss as well. She will not admit or acknowledge it. She wont even try the new and improved hearing aids they have. She had some when she was little and that was the end of that.....
Anyway, you're so right, you should not be ashamed at all. :) It's a part of what makes you YOU.
XOXOX
Empowering and uplifting, yes. And I, for one, am always grateful when someone tells me how I can help them.
Empowering and uplifting, yes. And I, for one, am always grateful when someone tells me how I can help them.
you go girl!
While I'm usually ok with volume, I have always had a hard time distinguishing one noise from the other. Led to some rather interesting misadventures! I've found it so much easier to just tell people upfront - friends, co-workers, etc. - that I will sometimes need things repeated, that I can't do a crowded bar.
I'm smiling while reading this post. I'm so glad you feel empowered to self-advocate. I think it's hard to be HOH sometimes because you're kind of caught in the middle of two worlds, so I can see where you would rather just try to assimilate etc.
I tend to be really open about my hearing loss, but sometimes just get lazy. I was at a party last Sat. night and only told a couple people about my hearing. Spent most the night bluffing. Mainly the reason I did it was I didn't know anyone there and probably wouldn't become good friends with any of them. It was at my husband's office party. I noticed he also bluffed his way through most of the evening. (he's also HH.) *shrug* But I do talking about it when it's important-- like at work-- maybe I talk about it too much. I'm trying to find a happy medium. We have to remember few of us have grown up with hearing loss mentors, and Miss Manners never wrote about the protocols for tactfully informing others that you're deaf and there is no way in hell you're going to hear anyone at a loud party, no matter how much more loudly they yell.
you all made some wonderful points in regards to my hearing loss and your own.
thank you for that.
kim: i am kind of where you are...sumx i have talked about it to much (like, how much is to much??) and then not at all, especially when i need to! i'm all sorts of backwards.
giggly: yes, you should make your sister read some parts of my blog where i write about deafness. maybe it would help?
she won't wear hearing aids at all?
thanks again everyone... xxx ooo
Kym- Reading your blog is inspiring to not be ashamed of having hearin loss. With being deaf in one ear, all my life I would hide the fact and try to push through understanding what people were saying.
I too sit away from crowds in resturants or don't even go because I know I won't be able to hear the server. Dave doesn't understand a lot of the time and it makes me upset.
I am going to try not to keep it a secret and not be ashamed of the loss.
I am going to be me.
Right on, sister, Right on!
dawn: that's fantastic! it is really hard for people who do not have hearing loss to understand what we go through on the regular.
do you wear a hearing aid?
i don't remember seeing you wearing one on saturday?
thanks john! haven't seen you on here in awhile!!
I peak in on you every day.
I'm busy working to close down my factory. It is a very ugly job.
sorry to hear that john. :-(
i'm glad you still peek in on my blog...your comments have always been entertaining.
I too have a hearing loss and have been hard of hearing my entire life...i cannot tell you how i relate to your words about accomadating others and not being open about my situation. I recently was diagnosed with usher syndrome and have experienced some vision loss as well. I am trying to process it all and it is inspiring and comforting to know that I am not alone.
erin...i also have ushers syndrome III.
i'd love to chat more!
i don't know any others with this disorder.
Just found this post today-- and have to say, "You go girl!" I went through that process 25 years ago and it was a journey to get to the point where I was completely comfortable and then finally, proud of being deaf.
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